11 August 2008
Today I was happily went out for my tuition and after that I went to meet my god children, Xin Yi and Jun Shen for lunch. At first I was quite happy to meet them but out of sudden that I got this strange feeling that I feel that they are not my god children, they are just a normal strangers to me. Not the god children who I know especially my god son.
I'm just a nobody and I'm the person who is not welcome to you all, when you all need me then you all call me; when you all don't need me, then you all call me go away, feel like I worse then a dog but at least got people to care but not your daddy. You know that your daddy every single pray very hard that you all can live peace and happily but I don't think you all have think of your daddy.
Daddy know that all of us are too busy with our study especially me as I have a lot of stuff I need to settle but why I have this kind of strange feeling. If you all think I'm not suitable to be your god father that just tell me can.
I know that we can't go back to last time like a happy family anymore. I know that I can't help you all but at least let me know what happen to you all and DON'T let me worry like stupid person can? Do you all know that it has already hurt my feeling and is really very bad that my heart has already broken into half or pieces for long.
I think I'm just being a failure to be your god father.... I think I can't be a good and caring god daddy. I HATE MYSELF!!!!!! HATE IT MAN!!!! :'( :'( :'(
